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            适合发朋友圈高情商的幽默说说

            来源:www.buymbtshoesnow.com 时间: 2019-11-06 所属栏目: 搞笑说说 人气: 0

            一、你要储蓄你的可爱,眷顾你的善良,变得勇敢,当这个世界越来越坏时,只希望你能越来越好。

            二、所有人和事,自己问心无愧就好,不是你的也别强求,反正离去的,都是风景,留下的,才是人生。

            三、去经历,然后去后悔,去做你想做的,去选你爱的,而不是别人眼里正确的,你的一辈子应该为自己而活。

            四、女人胖是丰满,瘦是苗条,高是修长,矮是秀气。男人胖是猪,瘦是排骨,高是傻大个,矮是卖炊饼的!

            五、两个男人在街上看美女,长得帅的叫欣赏,长得丑的叫流氓。

            六、别骂自己的孩子是小兔崽子,因为从遗传学的角度来讲,这对家长是不利的。

            七、我警告你,我现在很生气,不要跟我嬉皮笑脸的!你一笑老子就会忍不住跟着笑,这样显得我很没有面子。

            八、我的爱好有两种,分静态和动态,静态是睡觉,动态是翻身。

            九、吃货的人生就像一列火车,总结起来就是:逛吃,逛吃,逛吃。

            十、最不理解招聘要工作经验的,刘邦当皇帝之前也没在别的国家当过总统??!

            十一、活了半辈子了,好想为祖国的经济发展做点什么,可是老子想交税都不够格!

            十二、怎么区分浪漫与浪费?明知她不爱你,还送999朵玫瑰,这就是浪漫!而明知她爱你,还送999朵玫瑰,这就是浪费!

            十三、其实,你本该成为一名伟大的科学家的,不过被一件事情耽误了,那就是你没脑子。

            十四、有人说我不要脸,这简直胡扯,像我这么帅的哪舍得不要脸??!

            十五、每天早上起床都要查一遍银行存款,如果没有突然多出五百万,我就乖乖去上班了。

            十六、对于一个吃货而言,并不是世界上好吃的东西太多,而是他觉得什么都好吃。

            十七、一天一个苹果,可以把医生赶跑。而更厉害的是一天一头大蒜,可以把所有人赶跑。

            十八、媳妇在一旁学我,我伸手她就伸手,我抬腿她就抬腿,于是我就打了自己一巴掌。她看我一眼,随后啪的一下又打了我一巴掌。

            十九、“队长,犯罪分子终于浮出水面了!”“太好了,快把他捞上来!”

            二十、每个月总有那么几张毛爷爷,他的脸色由红变绿,由绿变黄,接着变蓝,再变紫,再变青,最后离我而去。

            "小编整理不易,小礼物走一走,万分感谢!"
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