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            双十一购物狂欢搞笑段子说说

            来源:www.buymbtshoesnow.com 时间: 2019-10-18 所属栏目: 搞笑说说 人气: 0

            1、总感觉这几天老说自己老婆是败家娘们什么的,都是故意炫富的。第一是炫你有老婆,第二是炫你有钱,第三是炫你既有老婆,又有钱!

            2、老公:“兄弟,我出车祸了,急需一笔钱?!备缑牵骸癟MD肇事司机是谁?什么车?”老公:“我老婆,购物车。

            3、0时0分,某小区的几十栋高层仍是灯火通明,家家亮着灯。那是一种寂静的明亮,没有电视和音响的嘈杂,没有夫妻的争吵,只有鼠标嗒嗒嗒的响声。小区传达室的王大爷默默注视着这一切,思索良久,又点上一根烟,最终坚定地关掉了小区总电闸。他为小区业主挽回了上亿元的损失,那一天是11月11日…

            4、年轻人们在这一天,要买新衣、购新鞋,这象征着来年的双十一不会再光棍。家家户户也都会在前一天的晚上,守在电脑旁或者捧着手机,祈求来年买买买……

            5、朋友:“为什么一到双十一,每个人都买买买啊?”我:“天凉了,烧点钱暖和啊~”

            6、盼望着,盼望着,双11的妖风来了,网购的脚步近了。一切像刚发工资的样子,萌萌哒张开了眼。败家娘们躁起来了,信用卡涮起来了,老爷们的都脸绿起来了。

            7、钞,稀有金属,放在钱包里极其不稳定。所以,钞=金+少。将该稀有金属放到支付宝这一器皿中,加入双十一这种催化剂,可瞬间变成空气,留下一堆残渣叫快递。

            8、老婆为什么要用老公的钱?因为“夫”字倒过来是“¥”,丈夫反过来是念“付账”。

            9、两人相亲!女:有房吗?男:有!女:有车吗?男:有!女:有存款吗?男:有,不多!女:哦,那没关系,请问你每个月几号发工资。男:15号,怎么了?女:哦,那我俩不合适,你这工资来不及!

            10、每一个剁手党都有一辆价值连城的车,购物车。

            11、下班回家,老公忐忑地问老婆:“今天双十一,你买了多少?”老婆说:“五六百吧?!崩瞎担骸盎剐?,有进步?!崩掀潘担骸拔辶俑龆┑グ?!”

            12、老公:媳妇儿,给你商量个事儿。老婆:说说吧。老公:别再拿我的钱在外面养男人了好吗?老婆:我没有??!老公:那个叫马云的,你给的钱还少吗?

            "小编整理不易,小礼物走一走,万分感谢!"
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